I wake up slowly, that was one of the first night's I hadn't had a nightmare. I look around to see Jake sleeping on my right side, and my own body laying on Ashley's chest. I smile at their actions, feeling safe with their warm bodies around me. I press myself into Ashley's chest, breathing in his scent.
A small grunt sounds from Jake as he begins to wake up, sitting up slightly and looking over at me.
"Good morning Andy. Feeling better today?" he asks. I nod my head at him and smile, slowly sliding off Ashley to follow Jake into the small living area of the bus. I don't know why I feel so safe around the guys suddenly, I mean, I was practically having a mental breakdown last night!
"So, breakfast?" Jake asks, pulling me away from my thoughts. I look into his brown eyes, feeling the weirdest urge to go and kiss him. Wait, Andy, calm down, you're probably just groggy from sleeping.
"No, thanks though" I say, sitting down on the couch just as CC shuffles out of the bunk room. He looks over at me with sad eyes. I give him a small smile and pat the seat next to me, know he had the worse of it when I told them last night, well, besides me who practically passed out.
What? If you had a small mental breakdown, you wouldn't be just going back to normal instantly!
CC floats over the room, planting himself beside me before blushing brightly red when I place my hand on his. I ponder about why he does this when my own cheeks flush red. God, what the hell is wrong with me today! It's like my body is fucking betraying me!
I shake my head slightly, the red blushing feeling still there. Jinxx and Ashley appear out of the bunk room together, hand in hand. That's new. I look up at Jake, who just sits down on the arm of the couch next to CC, holding his hand tightly. Wait, are they all couples now or something? Whatever, I'm sure my mind is just playing tricks on me again...
Ashley sits down next to me, smiling brightly.
"How are you today?" he asks, a shy smile tugging at my lip from the softness of his words. I feel my blush creep up again, and I immediately curse myself for feeling like such a whore.
The word rings through my head like it's a song on repeat.
My body trembles slightly, and I feel my memories take over my body. The touch of the man on my body seemingly returning. I breathe in shrill, short breaths. My eyes glaze over with pain and I hear the sound of the word echo through my head again with that rough and overpowering voice.
Ashley notices my small panic attack, grabbing my hand and speaking to me. Tears fall down my face and I look around the room, all of the guy's eyes focused on me. I don't hear their voices, just that one word repeating for one final time.
I run into the bunk room, crawling into the furthest corner of one of the lower bunks, curling up into a ball and crying my eyes out. Ashley and Jake run into the room, Ashley crawling by me and holding my sobbing body. I feel worthless. Nothing will ever be enough to make me think otherwise.
He shushes me and coos soothing words into my ear. I finally breath normally and feel my tears stop falling. Just like Ashley to do that, he's just about the only one who can bring me back from my madness.
"You okay now?" Jake chokes out, as Jinxx and CC enter the room, looking over at me with, loving and sad expressions? I look back to Ashley, looking straight into his eyes.
"Why?" I demand softly, "Why help me? I'm nothing but a broken record..." I squeak out, more tears falling down my face.
Ashley gently pulls my chin towards his face, forcing me to look into his eyes.
"Because, I love you!" he calmly states, resting his hand in mine.
"W-what?" I stutter out, blinking slowly. There was no way I heard Ashley right. No way. I shift around uncomfortably, feeling myself still slightly tremble from shock.
"I said I love you. We love you, Andrew", Ashley says, motioning to himself and the rest of the band. His smile is warm and caring, honest, and I find a small one pushing up tho corners of my mouth as well.
"Really?" I ask, tentatively. I suddenly get a surge of anger and I ball up my fists, flattening my glare at Ashley.
"You better not be lying", I say, my voice wavering. "Be-because... I don't think I-I could take that pain. Not now." Ashley's jaw drops slightly, his eyes watering.
"Baby, no!" he cries, cupping my face in his palms. "We'd never lie to you!" I glance away from him to the rest of our band– Jake, Jinxx, and CC, who all share the same loving and truthful expression.
"We love you, Andy", Jinxx says, smiling. CC nods, happily, clinging to Jake, who wraps his arm around the bouncing man.
"All of us. Five-way love... pentagon", he laughs. I smile again, feeling my own laugh bubble up in my chest.
"Really?" my voice is happy now, not wavering. Ashley and the others nod.
"Can I?" Ashley's hand moves around to my neck, his thumb stroking my cheek and I blush, nodding slightly. My lips part slightly and Ashley leans in, pressing his lips to mine softly.
I give out a small, low moan. Ashley deepens the kiss and tugs at my bottom lip lovingly, asking for entrance. I open my mouth a bit wider at the action, and he slips his tongue into my mouth. Swirling them around together, the rest of the band members feel a bit left-out. Jinxx is giving Ashley a, jealous glare? Jake and CC both look a bit jittery, looking away slightly as I place my eyesight on them.
I pull away slowly, looking back to Ashley, before nodding for the rest of the guys to join in. I give them all a small smile, and Jake and CC sit on the left side of me, as Jinxx sits near Ashley. I giggle as Jinxx kisses my neck slowly, grinning up at me before biting down slowly on my jawline. I mewl out as Jake takes my left arm, kissing up it slowly as CC licks my collarbone, biting down a bit harder than Jinxx.
I lean my head back, Ashley kissing my cheek before biting down on my lip ever so slowly, just letting me know it's him, not that bastard that's made me feel so numb for the past few months.
I feel my cheeks blush deep red as Jinxx and Jake pick my up, running with Ashley and CC to get to the back room, all of us plopping down on the bed. Jake and Jinxx back off a slight bit, letting CC and Ashes have a turn. I giggle lovingly as Ashley gives me a small cat-eye look, one begging for permission to take clothing off.
I nod my head slowly, wanting them all to wash away the touch of that man who took away the caring, loving Andy that's been hidden inside the whole time. Too scared to come out, too afraid of rejection.
But not anymore...
"Please..", I beg, biting my lip and looking over all the guys, "Please make this feeling go away..." I look down, closing my eyes tight at the thought of the man.
They all crowd around me, Jinxx resting his hand on mine before speaking.
"Are you sure your ready?" he asks, biting his own lip slightly before I give them all a sturdy nod.
"Yes, please...do it." I say, and they all give each other a glance before Jinxx bites down on my neck slightly harsh. I moan out and Ashley kisses my lips again, tongue sliding in and dancing with my own. I feel Ashley's hands begin to take off his shirt, tossing it to the floor while CC and Jake seemingly begin to make-out as well, holding each other close and stripping off the others clothes.
Jinxx runs a light hand over my chest, before slipping my shirt over my head, throwing it to the ground, along with his pants. Ashley's hand begins to palm me through my boxers, and I feel a radiating heat run through my body. I buck at the movement, feeling Jinxx sink his teeth into my neck and a low scream rips out of my throat.
"J-Jinxx!" I yell into the room, running my hands through his hair and gripping slightly as he bites down again. Another moan of his name rips through my throat, and Ashley slips his pants off in the process as well, digging around in a drawer beside the bed for a minute before pulling something out.
I don't notice anything strange until my boxer's get pulled off, and whatever Ashley pulled out from the drawer slips on over my arousal. I gasp at him, his honey eyes looking back into mine with a smirk.
"There, one small problem fixed!" He smiles seductively in my ear, before nibbling on it. Jinxx's hand runs over my chest, playing with one nipple before sucking on it. I let out another low moan, only thinking, what did Ashley mean by 'One small problem fixed'?